September 27, 2004

so i am thinking about getting a private room. i think it might be too late to change rooms but if they have an empty one maybe they will let me move into there. so i ordered some books online last friday and the last time i looked at the tracking it was in memphis and that was at 730am so maybe it is on a plane here and hopefully it will be here by the end of the week. i think that is what is holding my sanity. i have talked to my parents and they give me the we will be very disappointed and mad at you if you withdraw. grrr....someone is pounding on the door to the room next door. grrrr.......i am glad i am not trying to sleep right now!! the only thing right now that is keeping my sanity is the prospects of future mail!!! there are people outside that are talking so loudly......that makes me mad if i was trying to study or sleep or whatever i would never get anything done!! i so want to get an apartment. get somewhat away from this close living. at least in apartments you live a little further away from your neighbors you know? and you have your own bathroom and bedroom and kitchen. i am so mad that you have to live in the dorms until you get 60 hours which is basicly 2 years unless if you take summer school and a lot of hours your first year. i think that is part of my problem is that i hate this close living with a bunch of people that you don't know. i think i am coming down with a cold or something. i had the worst headache this afternoon. i feel better now but still. amber just left again. she barely stays in here for 5 minutes. that is probably why i am having a problem with this whole roommate thing. she barely stays in here long enough to get to know each other and when she is in here she has one of her friends in here and she just talks to her!! college is turning out to be something way different than what i had always imagined. i thought i would be staying up late talking and getting to know my roommate!! well she doesn't get in until really late!! so it is a little hard to get to know her!!!
i actually cried real tears today. because of all my eye operations i have never had those tears that roll down your check and stuff but i had them today. usually when i cry, my eyes just get really fogged up and wet you know?? but i actually had a tear go down my check. i know that isn't something to be proud of but if you have never had it happen to you before you should be glad or something. i don't know.

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