September 30, 2004


i am bidding on this signed orlando bloom picture on e-bay and only 9 minutes until it is mine!! i will post in 10 minutes when it is mine!! hehe!!!

September 27, 2004

so i am thinking about getting a private room. i think it might be too late to change rooms but if they have an empty one maybe they will let me move into there. so i ordered some books online last friday and the last time i looked at the tracking it was in memphis and that was at 730am so maybe it is on a plane here and hopefully it will be here by the end of the week. i think that is what is holding my sanity. i have talked to my parents and they give me the we will be very disappointed and mad at you if you withdraw. grrr....someone is pounding on the door to the room next door. grrrr.......i am glad i am not trying to sleep right now!! the only thing right now that is keeping my sanity is the prospects of future mail!!! there are people outside that are talking so loudly......that makes me mad if i was trying to study or sleep or whatever i would never get anything done!! i so want to get an apartment. get somewhat away from this close living. at least in apartments you live a little further away from your neighbors you know? and you have your own bathroom and bedroom and kitchen. i am so mad that you have to live in the dorms until you get 60 hours which is basicly 2 years unless if you take summer school and a lot of hours your first year. i think that is part of my problem is that i hate this close living with a bunch of people that you don't know. i think i am coming down with a cold or something. i had the worst headache this afternoon. i feel better now but still. amber just left again. she barely stays in here for 5 minutes. that is probably why i am having a problem with this whole roommate thing. she barely stays in here long enough to get to know each other and when she is in here she has one of her friends in here and she just talks to her!! college is turning out to be something way different than what i had always imagined. i thought i would be staying up late talking and getting to know my roommate!! well she doesn't get in until really late!! so it is a little hard to get to know her!!!
i actually cried real tears today. because of all my eye operations i have never had those tears that roll down your check and stuff but i had them today. usually when i cry, my eyes just get really fogged up and wet you know?? but i actually had a tear go down my check. i know that isn't something to be proud of but if you have never had it happen to you before you should be glad or something. i don't know.

school and stuff

i still want to go home but i am finding that it is impossible. but i am feeling a lot better today. this weekend i felt horrible. i spent most of my time in the bathroom if you know what i mean. i really don't have much to say. i am tired from being woken up so many times last night

September 26, 2004

i hate my room at the moment. it gets so cold and then it gets really hot and then cold again!! grr.... we need our own air conditioner/heater in our rooms. and i hate how you can hear the people in the rooms around you. have you noticed that all i say now is i hate i hate i hate? one thing that i like about my room is all my orlando bloom pictures that i have put up and the nice internet that i get here!! but it is a shoebox!! with 2 people living in it. i am starting to get embarrassed because i am usually around here and then amber startes talking to her boyfriend and i fell like i should leave but i have no where else to go and then they get mad at each other because amber has all these guy friends and her boyfriend is all jealous or something!! oh well!! and then she was going to bring a guy up here to watch a movie and i was ok with that except for if i wanted to go to sleep and they were still here then i wouldn't be that comfortable with him being here but in general i would have been ok with it but guess what she comes up here and says that they are going to watch the movie somewhere else. she probably thinks i don't really want anyone up here or something!! roommates are so complicated!! i wish i had gone for a private room!! then i wouldn't have to worry about who my roommate brings up here and where she is and what time she gets in and how she wakes me up every time she comes in late. like this morning she didn't come in until like 4am or something and yesterday i think was the day she didn't come in until 7:30am!! then she calls her boyfriend when she gets in to say goodnight and she wakes me up and her boyfriend up too!! i am glad that they are trying to stay together but no offense but it probably won't last!! because her boyfriend is obviously jealous about all of her guy friends here. anyway i think she is going to get tempted sometime to do something bad. and she drinks and that will lead to bad things that she obviously didn't really mean to do even she didn't have a boyfriend!!
as i get to thinking about this. i think part of my problem is with my roommate!! i mean i like her but i am just not used to sharing a room with anyone expecially with someone i really don't know. i mean i have had to share a room with ainsley when we have had company to stay over and stuff but that is different because she is my sister and that is usually at the longest a week!! this will be at least until christmas!! because i think amber is moving out at semester to go to a different dorm or something and i will be transfering at semester. but the question is where? and my parents are like you need to have good grades to transfer!! i need to have good grades to do anything!! grrr....... anyway what if i want to just come home right now and start clean over at some place new!! i could always find a job somewhere for a couple of months!! save up some money!!
i think amber also might have some problems with me but she has not said anything to me which makes me wonder but of course she might not have a problem with me but she probably does because she doesn't really talk to me except i am going somewhere see you later. or can you leave the door unlocked when you go to sleep. i am sorry if i like to go to bed early i would like to get up on time to go to class!! i don't want to stay up until the early of hours of the morning because i know i won't get up in time to go to class!!
it is so boring here!! i really haven't found anything i would like to get involved in!! the swim team is what i really wanted to get involved in and i can't go to it because of my classes!! and my classes are so boring!!! grrr.....just my luck!! i have been looking into greyhound buses to go home. i was sorta thinking about running away but in the opposite direction. i want to go home and when people run away they run away from home not to home!! but all my parents talked about this weekend is how i should join a group or join a church or something. but i have not found anything that i want to join yet. then they say that i should find people to play card games with and stuff. but i haven't found anyone yet because it seems like most people like to go to clubs and stuff and i am not that interested in going to clubs! and i am so scared about failing my classes. but they are so boring!!! ugh!!! anyone have any suggestions?
i want to go home!! anyone want to help because i don't exactly have a car to get me home.
well guess what!! i actually went to a football game last night. we won too. so guess what else? i am not feeling good at all. i think i might be coming down with a cold or something. my parents gave me the join a group talk and how to say hi to people talk. i do say hi to people they just ignore me!!

September 25, 2004


well it is parents weekend. i just went out to lunch with my family. i am suppose to be going to the hypnotis right now but i got a stomach ache and i told them to go on so they wouldn't miss it because of me so i am now waiting for them to get back. they are going to check into their hotel room then i am going to show them where my classes are then we are going to have dinner and go to the game. i am an idiot. why did i think i could come to college? i know i failed my psychology test! the main questions people have asked me today is where are you from and what are you going to major in? i probably wouldn't mind it here so much if i could just live in an apartment and had a car so i wouldn't have to eat cafeteria food and i could just make the food that won't give me a stomach ache!! and i won't have people making loud noises all around me and run up and down the hallways. i would probably have less distractions and i might be able to actually get some studying done!! and i hate going to the library because i don't want to have to walk back in the dark. creepy people come out at night. i would like to join the swim team but they practice during my classes and i would go practice with ETEX but they practice far far away and anyway they if they did practice close by they practice really early in the morning and i don't like walking alone in the dark. i just want to go home!! *take a moment to dry tears* i have to go

September 24, 2004

ordering online!!!

i just ordered 3 books on the internet from barnes and nobles!! i hope they get here soon!! hopefully by early next week!! yeah!! i love to read books!!

the weekend

ugh. it is raining. i hate walking in the rain so i am going to skip my last class. i have this fear of getting struck by lighting. i know that the chances of that happening is very low but still..... but i do like rain when you can just sit in your room and not have to go out. i am going to clean up my stuff because it is parents weekend and everyone is going to be coming in and out of my room and i don't want to embarrass amber by having a trashy side of the room and embarrassing her in front of her family. anyway i don't want to look like a pig in front of my own family anyway. so i started out and made my bed!! then i sit down here to type out my thoughts here and look at other people's blogs to see what a normal person acts like. JK!!!
i finally got the stupid atlas that my geography teacher wanted us to get. she seemed to be in sorta a bad mood today. i don't really care.
i am really glad that the weekend is here. i so wish i was home this weekend.

September 23, 2004

i hate school

today has not been that great. we got back our essays in english today and i failed it!! i don't really understand how she got the grade i got on it. i asked her how she got it and she said she averaged the grade on the rough draft and the grade on the final draft together. but the rough draft is out of 50 and the one on final is i guess out of a 100 because i got higher that a 50 on it but i don't think something out of 50 should be averaged with something out of 100. it is like adding 1/4 with a 1/3 if you know what i mean. they have to be out of the same number of points right? so i should have gotten a passing grade if they are out of the same number of points. then i had a psychology test and the stuff that wasn't suppose to be on the test was on it!! so i probably failed that too!!!
but the good thing about today is that i deposited the refund of the art history class!! so yeah!!! i got lots of money today!! the walk to my bank felt longer than i thought it would be but i made it to and from in 30 minutes and i felt really good afterwards. but i was stinky so i took a shower. i feel really good right now. but when i came back into the room and amber had some guy in here that i don't who he is and that was really embarrassing. i am not really mad because she wasn't here when i went to take a shower so i don't blame her but it was really embarrassing
i need to do laundry today. so that is what i am going to do after i post this.

September 21, 2004

orlando bloom

i so love orlando bloom!!! i printed out some more pictures of him to put on my walls. he is so hot!!! i love his smile, eyes, hair, and accent!! i so wish i could meet him or even marry him!! but i would be lucky to even meet him!!! the closest i will ever be able to see him is in my dreams and on tv and in my thoughts!!! Orlando Bloom if you are reading this: comment or e-mail me!!
today another one of my classes was canceled. they didn't say why but it is so wierd to have 2 classes canceled in one week. i am a little nervous because i have my first psychology test on thursday and the professor has not talked that much about psychology except for today. today he started talking about the brain. but all the other days he seems to center it all about physics and chemistry. oh well i am going to read the chapters in the book and hopefully that will help me at least pass!! i have a couple of test next week that i need to start studying for.
i was craving for pizza tonight so i ordered a small cheese pizza from papa johns. good pizza. then when i went downstairs to wait for my pizza, i was talking to the person at the front desk and she told me about this place where you can order pizza and get it for free!! i don't know if it applys to all colleges but i know it does here!! yummy!!
i got a couple of cards today to send out to friends and stuff. hopefully i will send them out tomorrow!! so hopefully they will get to the people i send them to by the end of the week!!

September 20, 2004

i never say things outloud....but now i am!!

i never really say what i mean to say. i don't know if i am scared that someone will read it and get mad or what but i need to say some stuff.
amber says hey girl or bye girl. i guess that annoys me a little bit because i have a name. she might say that to everyone but still. it annoys me. her boyfriend calls all the time. early in the morning and late at night. and in between. her friends always come in a go through her closet. so i will be sitting here doing something on my computer and in walks someone i don't know who has ambers key. they say i am a friend of ambers. they start going through her closet and stuff. on friday i come back and there are clothes everywhere!! amber wasn't there (she went to take a shower because she walked in a few minutes later and she had left the door unlocked) and her clothes were on my bed and on her bed and on the floor. amber never invites me to go anywhere with her and i don't want to invite myself because i sorta think that is a little rude to invite yourself places. but she has never asked me to go anywhere and she has never asked if i need to go to walmart or anything (she has a car) you would think that would be considerate to invite your carless roommate with you places since you have a car and they don't!! i would if it was the other way around!!
List of reasons why i should stay:
-i like my classes even though some of them are boring
-my bed is pretty comfortable
-i like my sheets and how i have everything set up on my side of the room
-it is somewhat close to home but my parents complain about the drive (it is a 6 hour round trip)

List of reasons of why i should go home:
-all the people i know are upperclassman and i never see them and they live off campus
-i don't have a car and most of the things i want to do are off campus and are a little to far away to walk to.
-i miss my family too much and obviously they need me! (i did their laundry this weekend and i took the dog for a walk. no one has time to do these things that still lives there!)
-good old home-cooked meals that doesn't give me a stomach ache or diarrhea!!
-i have access to a car there so i can go places and see my friends that are still there or see friends when they come home for the weekend
-mom and dad would not have to come and get me to see me since they don't seem to have the time anymore to come and get me and then take me back here again!!

i sorta wish i could just go somewhere that i can live at home or closer to home so i can see my family more. and mostly that involves tomball or U of H and i don't know if i can get into U of H!! i don't know if i am that smart. but i could always try. oh well. my parents keep trying to solve my problems for me. they are like join a club or work out more or meet more people. well so far i have not found a club that i want to join and i think i work out enough thank you and it is a little embarrassing when i can't remember all the names of people i have met!! and guess what i found out today!! the swim team started without me!! even though i keeped e-mailing the person in charge of it about when we were going to start and then i find out they had a meeting without me and schedule the practices during on of my MWF classes so i can't go to the practices either!! that makes me mad!!
anyway last friday i got tons of mail!! i got a card and care package from my best friend's mom and a check for dropping the art history class and a letter from my pen-pal!! yeah! and today i got my debit card even though i don't have that much money to spend. i need to save money anyway!!
sorry for the long depressing blog. i just need to sort things out.


well i am sitting here at my computer instead of in class because my class was canceled!! my professor is sick. but of course this is the class that i actually like to go to!!! all of the other classes are just ugh. i like sfa 101 too but if i had to pick a favorite, it would have to be Geography. i don't know why. i guess the teacher makes the difference.
i got my debit card today. the bad thing is that i only have $70 in my bank account so i better save it until i get my allowance. but i have some cash too so i am not too poor.
so i went home this weekend. my mom brought me back up here this morning. i had to get up at 5 am because my mom had to be in conroe by 10-11am. i pretty much rested and talked to my mom the whole time. tried not to think too much. i wish i could have stayed at home a little while longer. it is ok here. it is nice a cool today. but there isn't much to do here. you need a car to go to lufkin and do stuff there. lufkin is where all the shops and restuarants are.
on the way home friday, we past lufkin high school because the school is right on the highway. and they were having a football game and people had to park along the highway i guess because they don't have that much parking or something. or at least not a nice 1000+ parking lot that klein has. oh!! klein this summer spent over a million dollars on astroturph for the football stadium!! they did not need to do that!! they should have spent it on the pool!! the pool actually needs repairs!! they had the perfect reall grass and they didn't need to replace it!! spend it on something they actually need!!i hate it how they really ignore the swim program and spend all their money on football!! i wish football would disappear!!

September 16, 2004

i dropped my art history class. so now i have 13 hours instead of 16 hours. so now on MWF I don't have classes until 11am!! i have class at 11am, 1pm, and on just MW i have class at 3pm. on TR i have class at 8am and 11am. i hate getting up early to go to my 8am class but it is only 2 days a week. most weekdays i can sleep in!! i love to sleep.
i sent some letters today. i love mail. i wish i got more mail! mom is coming to have lunch with me tomorrow. i hope i can go home this weekend too. it isn't what i expected here. a lot of people leave on the weekends. a girl on my floor has already left for the weekend!!! can you believe it? it is thursday and people are already leaving!! my roommate says that there are like 3 parties every night except for sundays because people i guess rest and study.

September 14, 2004


sigh..... i called my mom today and i asked if i could go home this weekend since she is already coming up here to have lunch with me on friday. and she said no!!! you would think she would want me to come home. no one is here on the weekend. even last weekend a lot of people left. and we had a football game!!! and it wasn't a holiday weekend or anything!!! and i can't stand the food here!! it gives me stomach aches all the time!! and i don't want to complain about my roommate but her boyfriend calls all the time!! he calls early in the morning and late at night and in between. i am glad she is trying to work with this long distance relationship (her boyfriend is still in high school) but it is so annoying!!! next year i am going to get a private room. that is another thing. here you have to been in the dorms until you have 60 credit hours and that is basicly 2 years. grrrr........

September 12, 2004

isn't he adorable?? Posted by Hello

this is murphy (andrew's dog) isn't he so cute!! Posted by Hello

September 08, 2004


the 2nd week into school is almost over. it is going ok. i am still homesick. i have had a lot of english writing and in all the other classes i just have a lot of reading. i think my favorite class right now is my geography class. i went to talk to my geography teacher before class today. she is really nice. she asked me a lot of questions about where i am from and stuff. she is the one from Belguim. she has a cool accent but you can still understand her. i went home last weekend for labor day weekend. i had the best food this last weekend than i have had since i went to school. i didn't have a stomach ache. i don't have a lot to say.

September 02, 2004

so my first week of school is almost over. it has been ok. my classes are pretty interesting. i dropped my PSC 141 class because it wasn't exactly what i expected so i signed up for PSC 142 because that is the class that i really wanted to take. so i signed up for it yesterday. so tomorrow will be the first day i go to that class so i don't know if i like it or not but hopefully i will!! but i like all the classes that i have been to.
i have met so many new people i can't remember all their names but i can remember some of their names!! yeah!!
dinner yesterday made me sick. you guys probably don't want me to get into that but if you want to know what happened just ask. i am so tired. i haven't been on a schedule in a long time so waking up at 7am every day for classes is very tiring. i will eventually get used to it.
my longest walk is to my art history class. it is all the way on the other side of campus. but the rest of my classes are pretty close by.
i had the bookstore box up my books so i could just pick them all up when i got here but guess what they gave me the wrong art book and they gave me an extra book for my PSC 141 class but i ended up dropping that class anyway so i had to return a total of 3 books. but i got a full refund of it so it is ok. they told us to go to our english class before we buy our english books. so i went to class and found out which books i needed. so when i went to buy it guess what? they were all out of one of the books i needed. but i don't need that book right away so it is ok. i did get the english book that i need right now. i am going to buy the PSC 142 books after i find out which ones i need from the professor tomorrow. hopefully they will still have it!!
i am going home this weekend. i have to admit it: i am homesick. my room is mostly organized. i am taking home some stuff that i don't need here. i might also bring some stuff that i forgot back with me.
i am getting along with my roommate so far. but she is always talking to her boyfriend on the phone and stuff. it doesn't bother me that much because i don't know how it would be if i had a boyfriend still at home so i can't get mad. anyway i know i can sleep through pretty much anything so it is ok i guess. anyway i can watch her tv!!
it has been pretty cool here in the morning like before 8 am but it warms up as the day goes on but it isnt too bad!! yeah!!