September 26, 2004

i hate my room at the moment. it gets so cold and then it gets really hot and then cold again!! grr.... we need our own air conditioner/heater in our rooms. and i hate how you can hear the people in the rooms around you. have you noticed that all i say now is i hate i hate i hate? one thing that i like about my room is all my orlando bloom pictures that i have put up and the nice internet that i get here!! but it is a shoebox!! with 2 people living in it. i am starting to get embarrassed because i am usually around here and then amber startes talking to her boyfriend and i fell like i should leave but i have no where else to go and then they get mad at each other because amber has all these guy friends and her boyfriend is all jealous or something!! oh well!! and then she was going to bring a guy up here to watch a movie and i was ok with that except for if i wanted to go to sleep and they were still here then i wouldn't be that comfortable with him being here but in general i would have been ok with it but guess what she comes up here and says that they are going to watch the movie somewhere else. she probably thinks i don't really want anyone up here or something!! roommates are so complicated!! i wish i had gone for a private room!! then i wouldn't have to worry about who my roommate brings up here and where she is and what time she gets in and how she wakes me up every time she comes in late. like this morning she didn't come in until like 4am or something and yesterday i think was the day she didn't come in until 7:30am!! then she calls her boyfriend when she gets in to say goodnight and she wakes me up and her boyfriend up too!! i am glad that they are trying to stay together but no offense but it probably won't last!! because her boyfriend is obviously jealous about all of her guy friends here. anyway i think she is going to get tempted sometime to do something bad. and she drinks and that will lead to bad things that she obviously didn't really mean to do even she didn't have a boyfriend!!
as i get to thinking about this. i think part of my problem is with my roommate!! i mean i like her but i am just not used to sharing a room with anyone expecially with someone i really don't know. i mean i have had to share a room with ainsley when we have had company to stay over and stuff but that is different because she is my sister and that is usually at the longest a week!! this will be at least until christmas!! because i think amber is moving out at semester to go to a different dorm or something and i will be transfering at semester. but the question is where? and my parents are like you need to have good grades to transfer!! i need to have good grades to do anything!! grrr....... anyway what if i want to just come home right now and start clean over at some place new!! i could always find a job somewhere for a couple of months!! save up some money!!
i think amber also might have some problems with me but she has not said anything to me which makes me wonder but of course she might not have a problem with me but she probably does because she doesn't really talk to me except i am going somewhere see you later. or can you leave the door unlocked when you go to sleep. i am sorry if i like to go to bed early i would like to get up on time to go to class!! i don't want to stay up until the early of hours of the morning because i know i won't get up in time to go to class!!
it is so boring here!! i really haven't found anything i would like to get involved in!! the swim team is what i really wanted to get involved in and i can't go to it because of my classes!! and my classes are so boring!!! grrr.....just my luck!! i have been looking into greyhound buses to go home. i was sorta thinking about running away but in the opposite direction. i want to go home and when people run away they run away from home not to home!! but all my parents talked about this weekend is how i should join a group or join a church or something. but i have not found anything that i want to join yet. then they say that i should find people to play card games with and stuff. but i haven't found anyone yet because it seems like most people like to go to clubs and stuff and i am not that interested in going to clubs! and i am so scared about failing my classes. but they are so boring!!! ugh!!! anyone have any suggestions?

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