Enter At Your Own Risk!!

do you guys ever google yourself to see where you show up on the internet? i do ever so often.  most of my results are from facebook. most of it is junk results like the sites that tell you you can get people's information for free....but the big secret is you can search for the person for free but to get all the details you have to pay for it. has anyone looked at spokeo.com? it is so funny! it has a lot of information on you gathered from its search through the internet. i looked myself up. it says i am 27 (a few years off...) it says i am in a relationship (ha! i wish!) and that i have kids (which is even funnier because i have never had sex....wonder where the kids came from?) so they are a little off....

i have learned to never get my hopes up, never expect anything from anyone, and to never fall in love because that just leads to a broken heart... never again will i make these mistakes...

i have been really cleaning out my stuff lately. i have gone through a lot of stuff and thrown it away. i haven't been doing much lately other than that. i have been writting lots of letters to my penpals. it feels like i cant get ahead on that one. i write a lot and then i check my mail there are more! i think i have too many penpals but i don't want to say no either. some i think will fall off naturally so i am sure it will work out.

i feel so stupid. i did terrible on the GRE. i don't think i will get into graduate school. my scores and lack of people i can ask for letters of recommendations are my doom. i can't think of anyone that would be able to give me a good letter of recommendations. yea i don't think any of my teachers would remember me. i wasn't that great in any of my classes and the ones i did do will in were like 5 years ago. who would give a recommendation to a person that they saw more than 5 years ago? yea right. no work recommendations either. i am soooo hopeless. also the fact that i don't even know what i want to do in graduate school. i am only thinking of graduate school because i can't get a job. wow i am like batting a 0 of 1000 or whatever the saying is. i am a terrible student/friend/worker/daughter/sister/human being.

so i am all signed up to take the GRE in 12 days. so i found out today that the program i want to do isn't accreditted. i am soooo frustrated now. i don't even know what to do now. a lot of other places that i wan to apply either i don't think i can get in or they require letters of recommendations and i don't even know who i should ask to do those for me. i don't work for anyone and i don't think any of my old teachers remember me. i am so confused and lost about what i should do.

so last post i told you guys how i listed some never worn bras that i had on ebay. well someone has actually bid on them and like 5 people are watching the item! that is so funny. it will  be one of the listing that i will probably make a lot of money on! i just think it is so funny! :)

do you think it is weird to list bras on ebay? i have 3 that i never wore and they still have the tags and everything. they just sat around for like 2 years. anyway they are not the right size anymore so i am not planing to wear them. so i thought why not? oh well it seems like out of the stuff i list, it is the weird things that i don't think will sell, they sell right away. now that ebay is finally having free auction listings, i don't mind putting some stuff up there just to see how it goes. next weekend is going to be crazy and weird. everyone is coming home for the holiday. i am never sure what everyone is going to say to me. most of the time it is an insult.

so i think i am going to finally take the gre and go to graduate school. i think i will go to sam houston and get a masters of library science. i don't know if i will get in. i think i have until august 1st to apply but i am going to try to get it all together by the end of june. going to my sisters college graduation was cool. we also got her all packed up and ready to move to NYC next month. we walked everywhere! i was so tired by the end of the trip. you would think that with as much walking as we did, i would have lost weight but we ate a ton. we went out to every meal. i am scared to weigh myself.  i avoid scales like the plague. i upgraded some of things in my computer. i got a bigger harddrive. i got a 500gb harddrive. i wanted bigger but for laptops there isn't as much of a choice as there is for desktops. i also got more ram. all that needs to be done is a new fan because i think mine doesn't work right because my computer gets really hot when i do lots of things...

i got my new drivers license today. the new design looks weird. i like the old design better. for my new picture they had me take off my glasses which i wear all the time. i thought it was kinda weird because i were them all the time and anyone that will need to look at the license probably should see a picture of how i usually look you know? but i think they told me to take it off maybe because of the flash? oh well i can't change it now. i got the next book in the elsie dinsmore a life of faith series. i have been checking them out from the library and there are 8 books. i am on the 7th book and i had to be on a waiting list for it. i like the series though and i don't mind waiting. i applied to work at krogers and i had a drug test done today and they will be doing a background check on me too. it will probably be like my credit report and have nothing on there. anyway i never thought i would end up working at krogers after college. but i think they were going to put me at t...

i feel like i need to update this but i really don't have anything to say. nothing new is really going on. my sister is coming home tomorrow and her birthday is next week. i got her a present today and a funny card. it is one of those hoops and yo cards with sound. they are so funny. :) anyway i am alive.

so i am going to have my wisdom teeth taken out on monday. i am going to have all 4 taken out at the same time. i hope it doesn't hurt too much. i will probably get to eat lots of ice cream and yummy stuff like that! :) i updated the look to my guestbook. mainly i just changed the colors. i am glad that some of you actually have signed it! i like hearing back from you readers that actually read my blog. :)

not much is going on. i have been told i am too boring. i guess i don't care because i am not going to do a whole bunch of stuff that i don't want to do just be not boring. i would do more of some stuff if i was actually good at them but since i have a limited choice of what i am good at, i guess that makes my life boring. anyway i am  going to get at least one of my wisdom teeth out. tomorrow i am going to i guess a specialist to see if i am going to go ahead and just have them all out or just the one. my dentist said that i might as well have them all out at the same time since i am young and can handle it better than having more problems when i am older. i kinda agree. might as well get the pain over with. don't know when i will actually get them out. probably soon. hopefully by next week.

so valentines day is coming up soon. i don't think i will get anything this year as usual. last year i actually bought stuff for myself. that was a new low. i don't think i will buy myself anything this year unless i suddenly get a lot of money and then i would buy myself an imac. but i haven't really gotten anything for valentines day since the days of when your friends would give you a card or something. remember the days when you would buy those little cards to hand out to your whole class? i don't think i have ever had a real valentine. it would be cool to finally have a boyfriend so i could actually celebrate this holiday but i am not going to go out and get a boyfriend just for that. anyway i don't think anyone is ever going to be interested in me. most people just can't get beyond the fat. and for me it is all in 2 areas that don't seem to want to go away. no matter what i do. my clothes sizes are at least 2 sizes bigger just because of these 2 areas....

i finally got paid for all of my lovely work while i was shortly employed! i got a lot more than i thought i would. either they took pity on me or f*** you atrs you should not have fired me because if i did that great during 2 1/2 weeks maybe you should have kept me around. but it is their lose and my gain and i can find a better job that i actually like. sorry i just needed to get that out. i thought they would be wimps and not send me anything i earned. but it isn't exactly like winnning the lottery but it will be good for my bank account. how is everyone's new year so far? i ordered a guitar off ebay and i got it last week. it was very cheap and i got what i paid for. but hopefully i can learn off of it.

so this is our christmas tree. it is kinda fuzzy but it shows the lights the best out of all the pictures i tried to take. i got a new camera for christmas. that is probably the best thing i got this year but that is ok because i don't really  need anything. anyway the things i really want are too big to be christmas presents. i got a couple of gift cards. i got harry potter and the half blood prince and the new backstreet boys cd. i hope everyone had a good christmas!

so every once in a while i will go on the apple website and build an imac or macbook or something and see how much it would cost and what they have added and stuff. i had never looked at their mac pro which is their big desktop computer. so i decided to look at it and see what it would be like to build a customized one. it has 4 hard drive bays and you can have up to a 2 TB hard drive in each one. that means 8 TB total!! that would last you a long time! i was so amazed. it could also have a 32 GB memory card! to have the best of this computer would make it over $10,000!!!! wow i sound like a geek but wow! i wish i had the money to buy something like that but that is like buying a car! i think i will just get the regular imac. :) now the ipod nanos have cameras in them! i am a little jealous but i just bought a new ipod classic this summer so i am not ready to trade it in right now. but i am ready to trade in my computer. i have had it with the one i have. it does so many weird things a...

wow. today i was fired. i think that is the shortest time someone has worked anywhere. i think i lasted 3 weeks. unless you count the girl that trained with me that never showed up after that day. maybe she had the right idea. oh well more time spend with my family because i think i was suppose to work next week. now instant vacation again! and on again the job search/soul search/ where is my future search. at least i like the weather. hopefully i have a good christmas. i don't deserve anything at all but hopefully i will be surprised.

so my parents are coming home tomorrow from their vacation for their anniversary. i am glad they are coming home because it has been kinda lonely here with just me and the dog. but at least i get to do whatever i want to do without anyone critizing me or being disappointed or anything. i have already gotten my christmas cards all ready to go! a little early but i had the time. i sent out my thanksgiving cards at the begining of the week. if anyone else wants a card from me, please tell me by monday. monday is the last day i can send out thanksgiving cards so that it gets to you before thanksgiving. also if you want a christmas card tell me! i actually sold 2 things on e-bay this week! i am happy because it has been a while since i have sold anything and i am glad to finally get rid of some more things. i don't make much though. just enough to spend on other things on ebay. i generally buy things that i can't get here like Dear Canada books and My Story books. they are kinda li...

so i am not sure i have ever told anyone this and i feel like talking about it to someone but i don't know who so i guess that is kinda why i have a blog is to admit things and talk about things. i have always wanted to be a singer but i never thought i was that great so i guess that is why i never joined choir and only sing when no one is around. i also want to learn how to play the guitar. but i am saving money for a nice one. i am not sure why i am admiting this. maybe because i am not sure anyone actually reads this. maybe there is someone out there that can talk to me about it or whatever. i don't know. i feel stupid for writting this. but also good. i am so all over the place right? no wonder i haven't accomplish anything by now

so today is suppose to be unlucky. but for me it has been lucky. i first got $5 from a scratch off and then i had a very good interview that i think will hopefully turn into a job. this was the best interview i have ever had. maybe i could win the lottery and it would be a perfect day. usually i am unlucky so maybe on a day that is suppose to be unlucky i will be the opposite and be lucky. just a wish! i probably won't win the lottery. but i sure wish i could.