February 03, 2010
so valentines day is coming up soon. i don't think i will get anything this year as usual. last year i actually bought stuff for myself. that was a new low. i don't think i will buy myself anything this year unless i suddenly get a lot of money and then i would buy myself an imac. but i haven't really gotten anything for valentines day since the days of when your friends would give you a card or something. remember the days when you would buy those little cards to hand out to your whole class? i don't think i have ever had a real valentine. it would be cool to finally have a boyfriend so i could actually celebrate this holiday but i am not going to go out and get a boyfriend just for that. anyway i don't think anyone is ever going to be interested in me. most people just can't get beyond the fat. and for me it is all in 2 areas that don't seem to want to go away. no matter what i do. my clothes sizes are at least 2 sizes bigger just because of these 2 areas. it makes me sooo mad. sorry to go on about that. i just hate those 2 areas sooo much. i would consider plastic surgery but i know the doctors will just say keep dieting and i can't really afford it anyway without going completely broke. i am saving my money for when i really might need it. like suddenly getting kicked out or needing to move to a different city which would be cool but i don't know if i would want to move without knowing that i would have a job there first.