i just wish i could disappear. i am hurting inside and i feel like i got the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one cares at all. when i am crying, i got no one there to talk to. i often wonder if i do just disappear, would anyone come after me? sometimes i just want to go totally off the grid and see if anyone notices. see if anyone cares enough to come look for me. those will be the real friends. do i have any real people in my life or just people that take and take? i don't want anything back except for friendship- real friendship. people that got my back like i do theirs. but i guess that is too much to ask these days. even just a little time of day is too much to ask anyone. but i am always at the bottom of everyone's list if i even make the list.
school
so this semester i have been trying really hard and studying and reading the textbook and everything you know? so why am i practically failing everything? i have no idea. i got a 16 on a major quiz in my java class. i don't know why i am trying so hard. this semester i have studied the most for my classes and i am failing. i didn't used to study as much. i don't know if i can make it through college. maybe i should just go back to community college where i actually got good grades.
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