i guess i should just accept that you don't care at all. that you don't want to be in my life at all. that you just said stuff to me. i am tired of empty words. i am tired of getting my hopes up and thinking that you will be there for me like i have been for you. when i have needed you, you weren't there. everyone has disappeared on me and maybe it is time for me to just disappear. to just go and see who cares enough to try and find me. i guess it is time to see who really cares. to see who is going to step up and show me. i have showed you now it is my turn. that probably sounds selfish but i am tired of always giving and giving and now that i got nothing left, what else am i suppose to do? i got nothing left to give. just me. i feel so worthless because i got nothing. i work my ass off trying to save up my money again and to get through school and everything else that everyone throws at me but i feel like i am getting no where and no one here to push me up when i have fallen so far. i have hit rock bottom and no one cares. i cry myself to sleep and i hate it.
school
so this semester i have been trying really hard and studying and reading the textbook and everything you know? so why am i practically failing everything? i have no idea. i got a 16 on a major quiz in my java class. i don't know why i am trying so hard. this semester i have studied the most for my classes and i am failing. i didn't used to study as much. i don't know if i can make it through college. maybe i should just go back to community college where i actually got good grades.
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