i guess it really says how you feel about me when you totally ignore what i sent you for christmas, totally ignore a christmas card, and don't even bother to send me a stupid text saying merry christmas. i guess i was stupid to think you really cared about me and wanted to be my friend. what gets me is that even through all this, i realize i still love you. and that just makes it hurt worse. that i would do anything in the world for you but you don't give a dam about me. and i hate that i can't do anything about it. everything i had done for you doesn't seem to make a difference. it feels like the past year has meant nothing to you. maybe someday you will tell me where i stand with you because i don't know anymore.
school
so this semester i have been trying really hard and studying and reading the textbook and everything you know? so why am i practically failing everything? i have no idea. i got a 16 on a major quiz in my java class. i don't know why i am trying so hard. this semester i have studied the most for my classes and i am failing. i didn't used to study as much. i don't know if i can make it through college. maybe i should just go back to community college where i actually got good grades.
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