I haven't been on here in more than 2 years. What has happened in that time? Everything from going from having savings and a job and a car and computer and pretty much anything I want and people that I at least thought cared about me to being betrayed by those people or having my heart broken by them stepped on. Broke and having absolutely nothing. Having clothes that are 3 and 4 sizes too big but not being able to get new ones. I guess I am lucky enough to have clean clothes. I got no job. I have seen shoot outs. Learned about life that I never thought I would. I had book smarts before but I know have learned street smarts. Am I happy? No. I am hungry a lot. I am haunted by my past and it hurts me every day. I crave the love I thought I had from people but I see how easy people disappear when your life gets bad. It makes me want to go down the rode that people already assume I have gone down. Sometimes I want to do drugs and get fucked up to just forget everything. To numb the pain. I can't even talk to no one anymore. I got no one. I am one step away from living on the streets and no one cares. No one knows that pain until you are here. And I hope you never are. Because once you are here there is no way out. Everyone hates you and everyone that you thought was real is just fake.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

stuff

it is almost the end of the day. i feel like i have gotten a lot of homework done. i finished all of my math homework. i have almost finised A Common Sense. i only have like 15 pages to read. i have highlighted a lot of stuff to put in my answers. there are 10 questions i have to answer on it and i have answers for at least 6 of them. i think the rest of the answers are in the last chapter. i was just getting a little tired from reading all that. the book itself isn't that long but it has an introduction that my mom said i should read. i think it was helpfull because it gave a background to Thomas Paine about him and stuff so i know a little bit more about him and why he wrote the stuff he did and all. after i finish all this stuff (which includes typing out all my answers) i will probably start working on my english paper. which isn't due until march 8th i think so i have a few weeks to work on that still. i already have a rough draft and someone from my class read it for me a...
Read more

a quiz

Global Personality Test Results Stability (47%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being calm and resilient and being anxious and reactive. Orderliness (63%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun. Extraversion (35%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive. Take Free Global Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com
Read more
i hate my room at the moment. it gets so cold and then it gets really hot and then cold again!! grr.... we need our own air conditioner/heater in our rooms. and i hate how you can hear the people in the rooms around you. have you noticed that all i say now is i hate i hate i hate? one thing that i like about my room is all my orlando bloom pictures that i have put up and the nice internet that i get here!! but it is a shoebox!! with 2 people living in it. i am starting to get embarrassed because i am usually around here and then amber startes talking to her boyfriend and i fell like i should leave but i have no where else to go and then they get mad at each other because amber has all these guy friends and her boyfriend is all jealous or something!! oh well!! and then she was going to bring a guy up here to watch a movie and i was ok with that except for if i wanted to go to sleep and they were still here then i wouldn't be that comfortable with him being here but in general i woul...
Read more