January 19, 2009

old picture

so i finished scanning and editing all my old pictures. it was fun to through all the pictures and to see how weird we used to be. i was thinking about posting them on facebook but i don't know if some poeple would want them on there.

January 12, 2009

travel

i really feel like i need to get out of here for a little while. i was thinking about going on a trip but i don't know if anyone would want to come with me. i don't want to go alone. i was thinking about going to england. i would like to make use of my passport.

January 11, 2009

cleaning up and out

so today it felt like i had just too much stuff. i really felt like i needed to get ride of all kinds of stuff. but a lot of it is like old letters and notes or things that you don't want to get ride of it because you got it on a trip or you made it at camp or something like that. i just feel like if i gave something away, the next day i would wish that i had it back you know? i think that if i had my own apartment or house, i wouldn't feel that way anymore because i would be able to put everything in its own place. like i want to have a library room for all my books and then that would clear up at least 50% of my room. i would be able to displace stuff that i want and hang up all kinds of pictures and stuff. i guess i thought selling stuff on ebay and amazon would be better than they have been. oh well.

January 04, 2009

graduate school

so my parents are like you need to apply to graduate school. so i am starting to look into it. i think i may be able to get into sam houston. i have no idea. i first need to take the tests i guess. but i like any schools that do not require any essays or recommendations or anything hard. i have no idea who i would get recommendations from. i would ask some of my teachers but i am afriad they would laugh at me or not remember me when i would ask them for a recommendation. i am so lame.

January 01, 2009

Happy 2009!

i really hope this year is better than last year. i guess these are my resolutions this year or at least what i want to accomplish this year. they are almost the same thing.
  1. Get a job. or Get into graduate school. either one will do. i want to have some kind of plan for the future. i want to figure out what i am going to do with my life. i thought that after getting the diploma, i would have things figured out but i am a long way from that.
  2. lose weight. that is always on my resolution list and it probably will be always on my list. i am mostly ok with my weight. i just want to be able to keep moving and enjoy life. i don't think i will ever be able to be like the people you see on tv that are so heavy that they can't get out of bed. i don't think i could do that. i would be so bored. and i don't think i could stand to see myself like that either.
  3. i would like to finish scanning all my old pictures into my computer. that is a project that stopped when i was scanning stuff and nearly broke my dad's computer. but that was just a coincidence because the computer happened to feak out at the same time as when i was working on it and it still isn't my fault. but i want to get my own scanner to finish it.
  4. i want to finish getting all our home videos onto dvds. that has kinda hit a stopping point too. A) we cannot find all of our old videos and B) my computer freezes up when i try to edit stuff.
  5. i would like to work out more. i go to 24 hour fitness but not that regularly. i was also kinda hoping to get a wii to use the fitness games and that hasn't work out either. everyone is sold out of the wii and my mom said that she was going to get it for me for christmas. another dissappointment. she was going to get it last year too but that never happened either.
  6. i would like to travel this year. i haven't gone anywhere in like 5 years. but that cost money which i don't have enough of to have a nice vacation without worrying about being broke afterwards.

hopefully i can accomplish some of these resolutions. my year would be really bad if i didn't do at least 1 of them.

dissappointment

so does anyone out there ever have great expectations for birthdays or christmas or graduation and then always get dissappointed? like i thought for graduation, i thought i would get more than a couple of cards. i always here about people that get really nice cars or for some people some kind of body enhancement. i was kinda hoping for a new car especially since i have been having such bad luck with the cars that my parents let me drive. or i thought that my parents would get me a really nice computer since mine is starting to do wierd stuff! (it freezes up every time i try to edit some videos! and that is after i upgraded the memory). and it seems like everyone was always making fun of me during christmas and for once it wasn't about my weight. and all everyone could talk about is that i need to find a job and what kind of job i should get and all that. no wonder i spent so much time in my room this christmas. i just couldn't stand it anymore. i don't mind some help but it was really starting to bug me and it started to feel like i was a bum or something for not already having a job. i started to feel real ashamed of myself. i feel like a real dissappointment to everyone. i don't have plans for right after graduation and i didn't have all kinds of awards and stuff at graduation. i feel like i need to get out of here away from everyone but of course i don't have the money or the job so i feel stuck. i don't even own any cars to get away in. i don't think i could just leave with one of my parent's cars. i think it would be stealling if i didn't plan on coming back.
sorry about all this to anyone that reads this. i am just feeling really down today. maybe it is also that we are taking down christmas decorations. which i don't really want to do anyway especially when i put them all up myself. i hate it when i have to do 90% of the work and get no credit.